MagdalenaSometimes I cannot believe to be me. From an ugly duck into the fiery Red Goddess! Huh, what a journey did I do. I hated my body for so long... disgusted by my own image in the mirror. Now I call myself naked pure perfection and that’s how I feel. I was highly ashamed of my body-sexuality but I was already experimenting with my pussy at the age of five. Intense, isn’t it?
So what is my secret?
I survived it all. Catholic church conditioning, full rejection of my mother already in the womb, rejection of my womanhood by my father ( turning me into a boy for many years), and their unhappy mistaken relation. I was the shyest and magical kid. I danced and played..it saved me. Living in my fairy tale world full of beauty, adventure, and magic saved me. And my dearest loving grandparents did it with full love. This traumatic start became a rocket fuel for my later discoveries, creations, and emergence of the inner knowing. I've dug deep enough to rich the rock bottom of the story.
To make a long story short.I’ve never lost her, my little girl. Her innocence, playfulness, and spontaneity are my best friends in life and in my temple. Finally dance and my sexual drive empowered me to break through the fear into the full freedom of expression so I could be whole again. Belly Dance healed my feminine power and pushed me on the stage as a performer, crashing the shyness into 1001 pieces.
This taught me to be fully me and always choose what I sense from the inside as the outside world doesn’t know what real life is. To never agree on anything that is not loving and to rebel against circumstances that are not feeling right. To become a fire of transformation by choosing what I feel & believe.This traumatic start became a rocket fule for my later discoveries, creations, and emergence of the inner knowing. I've dug deep enough to rich the rock bottom of the story.
TribesSo-called “normal world or normal people” never really touched me. I needed to feed the body, heart, and spirit as one and so I went through a lot of tribes and places to sniff around and meet my friends. My life gifts were emerging very soon and I’ve created my own paradise at home, Magdalena’s first soul family.
My fire loves diversity and to consume a lot of human exchange. This fire brings people together to warm up and share their story’s.
To celebrate. To connect what is disconnected and set on fire what needs to expand or transform.
Beyond comfort zone
I have never stopped growing and stretching beyond my comfort zone.
Living abroad for many years is number one. Dancing and performing on stage, number two. Meeting new groups and ideas number three. But I’m doing it as it’s what my soul asks for. At the age of 27 meeting my first tantra teacher (ex-student of Osho) opened up the whole new life to me. I’ve met Tantra for the first time and I was burning to know more and learn it. Soon I was following Diamond Way Tibetan tantric Buddhism, an ideal place for meditation,fun, mixed with a modern view on life and a lot of human exchange.
Here I fell in love with my inner goddess - Red Dakini. She was there and I was preparing to receive her. In 13 years I grew up to the point of becoming free form any guru or group. For the first time in life really saying YES to myself, to my all powers & weaknesses.
Briefly and poetically:
“I am the Dakini of light the color of crimson roses and flowing blood
A Dancing Dakini I transmute the life energies into their spiritual origin
By changing weak currents into strong ones, dribbling energy into pounding waves
Opening blocks and barriers so that pain and pleasure may be experienced in their full strength
I am the guide and introducer of men to the spiritual path
I strengthen and purify them that they may encounter the divine light
I prepare them for the Great Awakening”
Being the Dakini is a pretty challenging role. Sometimes it is hard for me to accept what she brings as she is highly feminine, sensitive, and wild. To manage it in our driven by control and greed society becomes edgy at times. It takes a lot of courage every day to accept myself as I am and share it with people more and more openly.
Dakini is basically unknown on the west as she represents dark feminine-the assertive, angry, powerful, sexual feminine that's been swept under the rug in Western culture for a few millennia. She doesn't get much press. Her mission on Earth is to transform and provoke her followers into full integration of their daily lives with a blissful, limitless state of being.
Dakini is an awakened me, my fullness without shame, blame and rejection of anything that I am. Red Dakini is a fire, sexuality, and first chakra, it’s creatress & destroyer, passionate shaman, enchantress, joyful artist and drama Queen if needed. It’s my love and sometimes my curse. She is a call of Mother Earth to rebirth feminine essence in all her forms and to recover inner & outer marriage.
"Dakinis are elusive and playful by nature; trying to nail them down with a neat definition means missing them, since defying narrow intellectual concepts is at the core of their wise game. To me, the Dakini principle stands for the intuitive force. Women get it in a flash-they're not interested in an intellectual discussion which they normally find dry and cold with a minimum appeal.
They are the luminous, subtle, spiritual energy, the key, the gatekeeper, the guardian of the unconditioned state. If we are not willing to invite the Dakini into our life, then we cannot enter these subtle states of mind. Sometimes dakinis appear as messengers, sometimes as guides, and sometimes as protectors.
According to some scriptures, tantra was given to Buddhists by dakinis. Dakinis may be supernatural or human. They can be terrifying or alluring; malignant or helpful, Buddhist or not. The one thing that is clear is that they are female. "Witch" is probably the best translation. They are objects of desire and also carriers of the cosmic energies that continually fertilize our human sphere. Dakinis bring us pleasure and spirituality.. They are poetic and cosmic souls, put here to tempt us to spirituality."
Authenticity and transparency.Most of my wisdom and guidance came from within, discovery's made through the years of practice, healing, and inner journeys on my own, with the partners and tribe. I know and believe I can get you as far as I went myself serving the essence of my whole life. Guiding hundreds of men, women & couples for the last 13 years opened up all of my healing gifts to share with you the best way I can. Since January 2013 I was receiving my first messages and initiations from mother Gaia and other dimensions like initiations to the Red Dakini body, dragon power, crystalline kundalini awakening, empowerment to the queen of love. I was said to heal myself, to heal my Sisters & Brothers and to make them Wild. To bring them back to their instincts, playfulness, sharp senses, intuition, strong bodies, fearless hearts and naturally flowing energy. To awake kundalini's and bring my tribe..
The energy of a guru, a great teacher - someone who is admired and listened reverently is completely outdated for me however I believe in my magnificence. I can feel it just as I feel all my shadow and darkness. It has nothing to do with bragging, it is a simple statement of fact, which came to me with great difficulty. You can slowly and carefully begin to take responsibility for your Magnificence. It's about time to regain your Power. Your sovereignty. If you dare I can guide you there.
HonestyI'm not a pleaser. You will receive your true reflection and you will learn to express your truth. Truth is the key to any change and letting go of false programs running in us. As more truth inside the fewer lies outside will catch us. The old patriarchal system fades away melting collective hypnosis and the same process happens within us all.
Joyas a remedy for seriousness and all crap that the outer world tries to sell us as real. Joy reflects ego-free spirituality. It's not about digging in our shit endlessly or being a Zen master. Opposite, what we preach we become in our daily lives. I do my best to boost your daily ecstasy.
Wildnessas the purity of being and freedom of self-expression. You will touch your wildness that instinctively knows what is needed. Sharp senses, playfulness, rooted in the body you start to feel free to say YES and NO owning your claws and letting go of civilized control.
Loving arms and soft beddingbeing a powerful means to own the soft, broken parts as well. And be able to expose them when you are ready
Let my client describe it:“I want you to know that I am very grateful for the session of yesterday.
You brought me into a state beyond sexuality, into universal love.
You showed me your softness, your vulnerability, and your strength.
You let me remember that I have vulnerability and strength too.
And that there is no need to feel ashamed to show them.
I only have to take care that they keep balanced.”